Personal Blog

This is my personal everyday blog for everything that isn’t on travel, spirituality or something random I found on the internet!

Balance

There’s no escaping the great pendulum swing of life.

In my life at the moment there’s not a whole lot of work life balance going on. The reason being that for so long I’ve lived my life on someone else’s clock and I’m only just compensating for that imbalance now.

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It’s a pendulum, incase you’re stupid.

I remember when I went travelling about 5 years ago (see my travel blog) and lived in Thailand and Italy. My parents said to me “Don’t run out of money and ask us to bail you out for a plane ticket back home!” Of course being young and stupid I ended up doing exactly that. I also bought a motorbike a few years back with a personal bank loan that has stuck around, as well a friend of mine helping me pay for a pretty big trip overseas too.

So now i’m on the other, less fun side of that pendulum swing.

I plan to go travelling in November and work at Banff ski resort, Canada as a bartender and then check out America and India. But before I can do that I have to pay off all my debts, especially to my parents. The only viable way for me to do that in such a short time is to work my ass off all available hours of the day. I’m making great money being an uber driver at the moment, but it comes at the cost of my social life. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love to party and socalise and so this sacrifice is certainly noticable. But as always I believe that the only way to learn a big lesson is to make a big mistake. The pain of your failures will burn deep into your subconscious and change your ingrained behaviours.

I will always stick by my guns in the belief that you must always live your life in a way that makes the most sense to you at the time. Even if what you are doing goes against all of the advice you’ve heard from others. You can never really learn from someone else’s mistakes anyway. Yes they can give you signposts and pointers in the right direction, but they can never be the defining force that ultimately changes your behavior. It’s only through action and reaction that you will organically change your behaviour, otherwise you’re just forcing a behaviour you don’t fully believe in.

So because I swung the pendulum so far one way living on borrowed time, I am now riding the pendulum all the way back before I can establish a better balance. So that in the future I can swing the pendulum in a more balanced, rhythmic and efficient way that doesn’t put myself or put others out so much. These are the lessons we must learn as we grow up. These are the lessons that we will pass to our children one day, hopefully in an attempt to soften their mistakes. I still don’t think you can ever really stop them from making those mistakes though. People will always live their lives making sacrifices for the future and learning from past mistakes, that’s the human condition. Evolution never stops.

At least at the moment to balance out the challenges of constant work and no social life, I have taken up a renewed interest in fitness. I am trying a new dieting plan called intermittent fasting where I eat all of my food from 8pm – 10pm. It gives my body a chance to burn more fat in the mornings, gives me an energy boost in the morning, keeps me looking good and allows me to put on some lean muscle, provided you still eat the required macros in your eating window. I’ve also signed up to a Mixed Martial Arts gym where I’m practicing Kickboxing and Boxing. I love it already and I can tell it’s going to be something I stick with for a long time. It keeps me fit and feels good to get your aggression out in a productive way. Plus it gives you satisfaction knowing you are developing the skills to defend yourself and others if you ever need them.

So to summarise- don’t spend your life living on someone else’s clock, unless you really really have to, because you’ll have to pay for it eventually. In my case its not so bad. But when I think back to my time working at a debt consolidation company, where people would call up with crazy amounts of credit card and mortgage debt I realise that it can get a wholeeee lot worse.

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My 3 Near Death Experiences

Everyone loves to say ‘i’m not really afraid of death’ and thats fair enough, but let’s see how confident you are when you’re lying on a hospital bed looking up at some doctors while everything you have ever known fades to black.

My first brush with death came when I was 17. My friend had invited myself and another friend of mine up to visit him at Wagga Wagga university for the weekend and stay with him on campus. The friend of mine I was going up with had always been a little reckless (like me) and we didn’t exactly have a clean slate together already. I think when you’re young you don’t really think ahead with these kinds of things anyway.

Mistake 1:

Heading off from Sydney, we stayed the night at his Dad’s place on the coast (I think it was in Nelson Bay), smoked a heap of cones and only got a few hours sleep before starting the long drive early in the morning.

Mistake 2:

As we got on the highway, his driving was already extremely lax, driving with 1 finger, with his knees, going way over the speed limit, texting on his phone etc. I didn’t really wanna say anything because I didn’t wanna be pedantic about his driving, but I did tell him to slow down at one point.

Mistake 3:

Before too long, he starts seeing how fast he can go on a straight stretch of road (was up to about 160km/s by this point) while standing up with his head out of the sunroof. It was kinda fun, but also terrifying at the same time. I told him to relax and drive normally but he didn’t want to listen and there wasn’t much I could do at this stage.

Mistake 4:

He pulls out a bong and decides to start smoking cones while he’s driving on the highway. I suggested that maybe we could at least pull over to smoke, but as you can probably guess by now he didn’t listen. I then suggested that maybe a 6th cone was a little excessive but to no avail.

Mistake 5:

Eventually we were driving through a little country town called Tarago. We were flying along at around 130 km/h and we come to a t-intersection. He suddenly realises that we need to turn right instead of going straight and cranks the wheel all the way to the right. Because of he was so high I don’t think he realised what this would actually do to the car and before you know it we’re drifting sideways around the corner. The car is going so fast it mounts the kerb and keeps skidding sideways through the grass. After about 10 metres of going sideways, the wheels dig into the grass and the car starts to roll. I remember as the car started to flip thinking ‘wow… how did we get here? We were just driving in a straight line’. I look up at my friend and he’s just as surprised as I am and we make eye contact for a split second as he’s in the air above me. Keep in mind this is all happening in a matter of seconds and to top it off i’m blazed as fuck which doesn’t help my mindset either. The car keeps rolling and all I can say is “fuck fuck fuck fuck!” with a feeling of ‘is this really happening?’. After rolling over 3 times the car stops on its side and we manage to climb out of the door. The car is completely totalled but thankfully the roof didn’t cave in. Even more luckily, there was nothing on the kerb to stop the car. If there had been anything there like a pole or a house, there wouldn’t be much left of me as I was closest to the kerb.

The car is completely fucked so we walk down to the local pub to get a beer and think about what the fuck just happened. We manage to give our totalled car to a tow truck driver in exchange for a lift to Goulburn and continue on our journey.

Lessons learnt:

Don’t do any of the above… If someone is driving badly never be afraid to speak up. When you drive you have a responsibility for other people’s lives. In the back of my mind now i’m always conscious that a car crash just come out of nowhere, so i’m always a bit more cautious when I drive.


The second time I was a bit older, and only a little wiser at 24.

Mistake 1:

On Friday night I loaded myself up on ketamine and cocaine (the combination is known as CK. It feels great but puts a bit of strain on the heart, which makes sense considering one is a tranquilliser and the other a vasoconstrictor).

Mistake 2:

The following night I went to a friends house and took some GHB. I had recently discovered it and was in a phase of using it a lot. I remember feeling really disconnected from my body and I was able to sit outside and astral project really easily (another thing I had been into at the time). After doing that for a few hours I went to lie down to get some sleep. Just as I was drifting off something woke me up with a jolt. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what had woken me up but I instantly knew that something was wrong. I then realised it was my survival instinct trying to keep me alive. My heart was pumping way faster than normal and I felt disorientated and couldn’t think straight. When I tried to stand up I couldn’t really walk either and I knew shit was about to go down. I started to worry a bit and I walked outside and called the ambulance and told them I was having a drug overdose. What I didn’t realise at the time was that the ketamine and the cocaine were still in my liver from the night before and were released by the GHB (a nervous system depressant and relaxant) and had combined with the GHB to make a potent combo. This in turn combined with a different chemical I had been taking regularly at the time which put even more strain on my body and my heart was struggling to keep up.

In the ambulance I was going in and out of consciousness and my memory was not really working properly. The ambulance staff were trying to ask me questions about my address and things but I was struggling to even remember my own name. Luckily the process of trying to remember seemed to help keep me conscious somehow and I think they knew that. All I could really say by that stage was ‘what’s happening?’ and ‘where am I?’ and was just generally confused. I could tell they were trying to say positive things in soothing tones like “we’re just going to take you to the hospital to have a little look at you okay” to keep me from worrying, but their conversations in the background seemed to tell a different story.

The next moment I remember is like a scene from a movie, lying down on the hospital bed with the doctors rushing around me putting heart rate monitors on me and injecting me with something to slow my heart down. Apparently I was getting close to heart attack range. My heart was beating really fast but pumping very little blood. Everyone loves to say ‘i’m not really afraid of death’ and thats fair enough, but let’s see how confident you are when you’re suddenly lying on a hospital bed looking up at some doctors while everything you have ever known fades to black. When the time comes so unexpectedly, there’s certainly fear there. As I felt death quickly becoming a very real possibility just around the corner, I kept thinking to myself ‘how the fuck does it just end like this?’ My vision was fading and I was starting to lose sensation in my body. Everything was moving at such great speed, my thoughts, my emotions, my heart, my vibration, my breathing, I had no time to think about anything, I was just totally absorbed in the moment and just hoping that I would make it out the other side. I felt my spirit starting to vibrate faster and start to quite literally lift up and leave my body. Initially I was full of panic and fear, but eventually I crossed a threshold where I knew that there was no turning back. After I reached that point all fear subsided and a great sense of peace came over me. It was the peace that comes with the acceptance of the things you can’t change. My life was just right there hanging in the balance and I knew that whatever happened next was just the next logical step in the process and if I did die it would be the most incredible thing since being born. That was when I realised that death isn’t anything to be afraid of, it’s just different from anything you’re used to, and when it comes you just have to see what happens. You don’t even have to accept it, it will just happen to you eventually anyway. Think of it like when you’re on a rollercoaster and it just starts to move and you know there’s nothing you can do so you’ve just gotta go with it. You can rest assured knowing that when you die there is only fear and pain up until a certain point, and after that it’s actually quite peaceful. My life didn’t exactly flash before my eyes, but I do remember thinking about all of the things I had left to do on this earth and all of the people I would be leaving behind. I could almost see myself on the news the next day. People say that ultimately you are the one who decides whether you keep living and that certainly was the case for me. There’s a certain kind of willpower that you can summon to keep yourself living at that point.

Eventually my heart slowed down and my breathing returned to normal and I realised that I would live to fight another day. You can’t imagine the range of emotions you go through after you get close to death like that. Literally everything you’ve ever known is almost just taken away from you forever. I was alternating from states of complete shock, to crying, to laughing uncontrollably. At the end of the day death makes you see just how fragile life really is, and after that you can’t really be as serious about it all. But at the same time there’s sadness because everything you’ve ever been attached to could have dissapeared too and who knows what comes next. I thanked the doctors and they told me to look after myself more in the future (if only I listened). I remember walking out of the hospital and I fist pumped and shouted “FUCK YES” because I was so happy to just be alive. If there was one time that I could fully appreciate life, it was right then.

Lessons learnt:

You just don’t know your limits until you cross them. Bendering a lot and not looking after yourself can have negative consequences. A drug overdose can come out of nowhere, just like a car crash, especially with things like GHB.


The third time I was at Home nightclub on my 25th birthday at Simon Lovell’s Trance Classics event.

Mistake 1:

I was having a sweet time, all my friends were around, the music was pumping and things were going smoothly. I thought hey, it’s my birthday, let’s get loose! I racked up a line of MD and was feeling buzzed and was drinking plenty of alcohol. I then had about 4 mls of GHB (sadly old Gina is a seductive mistress. Fool me twice, shame on me?).

Mistake 2:

Later on my friend hands me a red bull with some G in it and I stupidly ask if I can finish it, not even thinking about how much was left in there. I finish the can and it ends up having about 5mls in the bottom. This was not too long after I had the previous 4 mls or so, as well as plenty of drinks and other things.

Now I had ‘G dropped’ prior to this, but this was not your ordinary drop. Within minutes I got tunnel vision and I was having trouble standing up straight. I go to walk outside and before I even get there I’m out cold on the stairs of the venue.

Next thing you know I hear the voice of a woman coming through the murky depths of my consciousness. “Wake up Lorin, can you hear me? You’ve had a drug overdose Lorin”. I remember I had been somewhere far, far away, way below the level of dreaming. I was in a semi-coma by that stage. When I went to hospital previously it was such an intense and scary experience. This was a lot more peaceful, just heading deeper and deeper below consciousness. Dying in your sleep is definitely the way to go.

It was hard for me to remember everything that happened in that deep unconscious state, but I remember brief glimpses of this immense energy that gives life to everything, kind of like this one massive life force.

I woke up and saw my friends standing around me. My friend Niall told me that I had a drug overdose and I was in hospital. It had been about 6 hours since I had been at the event. Any longer and they would have put me on a breathing machine. The first thing I said was ‘fuck, again??’ I couldn’t believe what had happened once I woke up. I was then talking to the doctors about how death really isn’t anything much to worry about because it’s just the other side of the coin to life. It seemed like they’d heard it all before anyway.

Lessons learnt:

That was when I realised there wouldn’t be a third time and I needed to reassess my lifestyle ASAP. It made me think about the role of drugs in my life and what a balance really is. Drugs are nowhere near as important to me as they used to be now. I used to think that I could find the answer to all of life’s problems through psychedelics and that party drugs like G and M were fine to do every weekend. These days I see drugs as something more for special occasions and I approach them with more respect. I also just listen to my body more too. As cliche as it sounds, the real goal is to find happiness without them. Save them for when you want to elevate your mood a bit and share good times with friends.

Overall we should remember that two of the most common ways for people to die are in car accidents and drug overdoses (prescription or otherwise). I’m glad that I’ve had these experiences at such a young age because it means I can now approach them with the respect that they deserve and show this to others too. As humans we are hardwired to avoid repeating painful experiences and what could be more painful then almost dying. I don’t believe in coincidences anymore.

On a more holistic level, we forget just how fragile and fleeting this life really is. You could honestly be here one moment and gone the next. It takes something like coming closer to death to remind you of that.


 

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Growing Up (Again)

I am 26 years old now (after celebrating with a legendary party I held in an abandoned war bunker). A lot of people around me seem to be settling down into their respective career paths, relationships, friendship groups and life situations and getting ready to set the pace for the rest of their lives.
Now while there’s nothing wrong with this progress, especially when you’re in a good relationship, career, financial, physical and general life situation… most people don’t seem to be settling out of conscious choice, rather through an unconscious need to find security. There seems to be a disconnection between real personal achievement and the achievement that society unconsciously expects from you. I’m not saying that many great things in life don’t take considerable time and sustained effort (building your career, following your creative path, etc), but a successful life also requires a healthy amount of experimentation, change and trial-and-error, something which our present society doesn’t seem to encourage too much past a certain age. I really am happy for my friends who seem to have found their ‘true path’, but I think they are honestly few and far between.
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My 26th Bunker Party

Now you may think ‘hey Lorin, your life seems to lack consistency and stability, are you not just projecting your unfulfilled desires through this blog? ‘ Now don’t get me wrong, part of me does crave security, as all humans do. But the greater part of me is ready to sacrifice this and go through all of the associated pains of finding my personal best in every area of my life.
I’ve always had a burning restlesness ever since I was a kid. Sometimes it would manifest as me smashing things up with a hammer, chasing kids home from school and throwing things at them, being a class clown, blowing things up, causing bushfires, annoying everyone and everything, getting suspended etc. At other times, it would push me to try new things and not give up until I had won or learnt the lesson. This energy is still within me now, pushing me to create, discover and explore.
I see the contrast between people that are around 18-23, people that are around 24-30 and then people that are 30+. They all seem to follow the same routine:
In the first stage, fool around, travel, experiment and have a good time when you’re young. Anything goes! I’m all for this because you just keep on learning and growing.
The problem starts at the second stage:
In the second stage, by your mid 20s, the unrecognized societal implication is that you should already be well on your chosen path by now and if you’re not, then stick with what you’ve got. You’ve probably gone through enough relationships by now so change is probably unnecessary (and also difficult and scary). You should be thinking about marriage and kids soon anyway. You should have finished your degree by now, and why would you even dare consider changing jobs after building so much experience for yourself? Travelling and partying are frowned upon as hedonistic luxuries instead of ways of meeting new friends, forming new relationships, discovering what you want and simply enjoying life.
We don’t actively say that we discourage these things, but it’s generally implied by what everyone else is doing and by how ingrained these patterns are in your mind by this stage. Rethinking how you feel and act by this time is generally seen as wrong as we should have already worked it out by now. The problem lies in the fact that these years are crucial for finding out who you REALLY are and what you REALLY want out of life, which is often very different from what you thought you wanted when you were 20. How much a man changes between the age of 20 and 25. Is it really wise to stick with the same path simply out of habit and fear of change? But if you can really step outside of yourself for a moment and say ‘yes, this is the perfect life for me’, then continue doing what you’re doing.
I’m so glad I grew up the way I did, sailing around the world in a boat for a year and a half when I was 12 (see my ‘sea blog’ for more info). Growing up first in London and then Sydney. Discovering spirituality from a young age. Trying a whole heap of different jobs, study paths, places to live, different drugs, different types of friends, different girls. Failing hard, getting expelled, getting fired, getting dumped, losing friends, losing money, almost dying 3 times. Not sticking to the simple way of thinking and chasing simple desires that seems to work so easily for most people (from the outside at least). I saw that life could be lived in a different way.
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My childhood growing up on a boat

Forgive me if I’m being overly idealistic here or sounding like a motivational speaker (why do either of those require apology though realistically?), but I believe that these are the types of experiences that society needs to be encouraging us to still be having in our 20s and 30s, so that when you find your dream job, your employer recognizes your depth of character. When you find your dream woman she sees that you really know what you want from life and know how to take it. When life fucks you from both sides (assuming you don’t like that) you know how to handle it. When an opportunity comes your way, you won’t hesitate to change your whole life in order to take it.
To commit mistakes is not wrong — commit as many mistakes as possible, because that is the only way you will learn. But don´t commit the same mistakes again and again, because that makes you stupid.
-OSHO
We see people like spiritual teachers, life coaches, successful businessmen etc when they are at their peak of success. We don’t see Eckhart Tolle’s 30 years of crippling depression before he became enlightened. We don’t see Steve Jobs stressing and staying up for days to make a deadline. We don’t see Tony Robbins working as a janitor before he was famous. We don’t see Neil Strauss failing with hundreds of women, don’t see Michael Jordan missing shots in his practice time… you get the idea.
Now I’m not saying that many successful people didn’t go through these challenges and changes earlier than their mid to late 20s, but what I am saying is that if we listen to the way society generally expects us to be then we might just give up by the time we get there if we haven’t made it yet. Age isn’t anywhere near as much of a limiting factor as we are lead to believe so we should use this truth to keep pushing, experimenting, making mistakes, travelling, trying new things, changing and reshaping our sense of self and everything in our life.
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Tony Robbins: A man of success

So it’s not that I haven’t found a career path that doesn’t interest me, like music, massage, teaching tantra or yoga, becoming a spiritual teacher, organizing events or many of my other ideas. It’s that I have come to see so many paths available to me to devote my life to that I want to explore a little more before I settle on something.
It’s not that I haven’t found girls that don’t fit me either. It’s that as I have gotten older I have started to understand women more and as that happens it gets easier to form relationships. As I get more life experience and maturity and find my path, I also want a woman who’s more on her ‘path’ too. Without being too cynical, I have come to realize that many of the surface level feelings that relationships bring are interchangeable to an extent, especially in regards to affection and sexuality. I realise that the dream of ‘the one’ is more of a fantasy that I was fed when I was younger. With a bit more experience I am able to notice what really makes a girl stand out from the crowd instead (I was a bit late to the party in this respect).
It’s also not like I don’t like living in Sydney either, but right now I don’t have any real commitments and the whole world at my feet. I have future plans to go back to Thailand for a little holiday, then spend up to a year living in India. I also want to try living in London again, as well as sailing on a boat again as well living and travelling in America, and perhaps making music somewhere in Europe at some point in the future. I think I’m also going to spend some time in Melbourne before I leave Australia too.
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Dharamshala, one of the places I want to visit in the north of India

As I get older all of my points of reference become less fixed. I make friends more easily and quickly but I lose them or fall out of touch more quickly too. My network of friends has expanded so that when I hold a party I have no problems inviting 500 people. This then makes it interesting when they are all in the same place at once and my sense of self is no longer fixed to one particular group. Girls come into my life with less effort and it becomes more about finding ones I want to keep around. I have opportunities to make a lot more money more quickly to devote to my dreams. Things that seemed like such a big deal like moving city, travelling, trying a new job or studying something new are easy impulse decisions to me now. My mistakes and life lessons are less frequent but much bigger too.
I was so close to settling into a stable life situation for a while… it was so close that I could see it all unfolding right in front of me. And then a few things changed and it created a butterfly effect which rippled through every other area of my life. Once again my destiny was not fixed. Perhaps the universe had other plans for me. I think I was always destined to be a bit of a nomad. It runs in my blood and in my past.
Everything happens for a reason after all and i’m not adverse to the idea of karma and the law of attraction.
A few more months here paying off some debts and saving some money and the adventure continues. Stay tuned here for some travel blogs in the future.
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Failure and Success

Recognise that failure is an intrinsic part of success

A little while ago, everything in my life seemed to be going perfectly. I had found a course I really liked, I was spending time with a girl, I was paying the bills… In reality, I had simply become comfortable with mediocrity. It wasn’t that I didn’t have great things in my life, it was just that I had stopped striving to be the best person I could be. I had stopped growing as a man and become lazy.

My course in remedial massage was great and it suited me well. But I had to make the decision to put it on hold in order to pay all of the debts that I owed. I couldn’t continue to expect to slowly pay them off with a part time job. I had also lost sight of one of my biggest goals- trance music production.

I have been driving for uber for the past week but again have realised that I can’t realistically expect to drive for 50 hours a week because it’s just too tiring, so I must balance this with another source of income.

I had been hanging out with a girl who I was getting along really well with, but I got complacent and made some mistakes. I had fallen for the first girl that I had connected with when in reality I should have kept an open mind. I made the mistake of idealising her and developed ‘one-itus’. Our society sells us this idea of ‘the one’ which leads to a fear of losing them, when in reality attraction is organic and you should follow its ebs and flows, not make some perfect ideal of it in your mind. ‘One-itus’ makes us forget our personal value and divorces attraction from reality. Especially when you have nobody else to compare it to. Attraction is nice, but it has a tendency to cover up any insecurities and self-doubts you have until they eventually come to the surface. Afterwards you are left to face them on your own only they are now more prominent.

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What we need to realise is that mistakes are necessary for our growth as people. It’s easy to look back and fantasise about what could have been, but that is only a fantasy, a nice dream. What it really means to be a man, is to live in such a risky way that you make the mistakes in the first place. Do exactly what you are most compelled to do at that moment and once you make the mistakes you will learn the lesson and grow.

I have learnt that I do enjoy remedial massage, but also have a responsibility to my debts first and foremost so will have to make the sacrifice and return to it at a later stage. I have learnt that you must have balance in your life. I have learnt what it means to be a man and to be independent and to learn the elements of attraction and the dynamics of a relationship. I have learnt that you should never lose sight of the things you are truly attracted to in life, in my case music production.

If I could go back, I wouldn’t change a thing. Because I know that in the future once things are going smoothly again because I am operating from a place of deeper understanding in my ideal life situation, I will see why it was all necessary.

The best thing about being at rock bottom is that there’s only one way to go.

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Wollongong, Newtown, Kiama

It has been a long time since I have updated my personal blog, so i’m going to be covering my year spent living in Wollongong, my 6 months living in Newtown and my recent move even further south to Kiama. 2015 for me was a year of significant internal and external change. But first, here are some things i’ve done since my last blog post (in Jan 2015)-

-I made about 1500 new friends (on Facebook at least)

-Became a DJ,

-Was interviewed by Armin van Buuren live on his radio show ‘A State of Trance’,

-Owned 3 different motorbikes,

-Worked at The Department of Immigration, a whiskey bar, Home Nightclub, Bondi Council and Newtown Social Club,

-Lived in Redfern, Marrickville, Wollongong, Newtown and Kiama,

-Went to some awesome festivals and events (Psyfari, Dragon Dreaming, New Psycle, Psydways, Subsonic, Atlantis, Godskitchen, Genesis White, Genesis Black, Pure Trance, ABGT150, Above & Beyond Acoustic and wayyyy too many more to mention)

As well as a whole bunch of other things I have probably forgotten to cover or will cover below.

So first things first- my year living in Wollongong. After having spent a year in Canberra, I decided it wasn’t really for me. First of all, Canberra is just so dull and lifeless and always either too hot or too cold. You are either surrounded by the grey empty streets of the city or the barren dry countryside. The residents are either massive bogans, political snobs (who go to The Australian National University because ‘it’s the best uni in the country’ (whatever that means)), or occasionally chilled country people. It’s not easy or exciting to get in and out of Canberra, with the only option being a 2.5 hour bus ride down the world’s longest and straightest road. The campus communities I lived in were not really as vibrant and as fun as I expected either. Lastly and most importantly, I didn’t really feel like a Bachelor of Arts was what I really wanted to study, and just went into it with the mindset of ‘I might as well study something’. After doing some research and moving back in with my parents in Sydney, I decided that it was time for me to actually study something I was interested in.

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Another dreary day in Australia’s bustling metropolitan capital

After moving back in with my parents for a while and doing some research, I decided that I wanted to study something i’ve always had an interest in- Digital Media. I found a course at University of Wollongong that focused on film, animation and media and I enrolled and started getting ready for the next chapter of my life. The thing I liked about the course at Wollongong was that it was half TAFE (like a technical college in England) half university, so in essence half theory half practical. Straight theory had always been a little dry for me and that is a part of the reason that I didn’t like the bachelor of arts at ANU in Canberra. I also liked the idea of moving somewhere new and starting a new life, as well as being by the coast and living in another campus atmosphere.

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Wollongong aka ‘The Gong’

So the year started rolling by and I moved into my campus accommodation and started studying. The south coast as a place is much more interesting than Canberra, it has some of the most beautiful scenery i’ve ever seen and to get back to Sydney all you need to do is catch a 1.5 hour train (a journey I would soon get used to). The campus atmosphere was also more interesting and I made some good friends in my stay down there. There was still a strong ‘high school mentality’ amongst the campus, which is not surprising seeing as most people were still fresh out of high school. My course was and still is quite interesting, we spend our time either filming in the studio, animating, editing and doing media studies lectures.

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Friends from my uni course

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Friends from my campus

From about July onwards I met a group of friends who were as into trance events and partying as I was, and I seeing as I get into most of these events for free, there really wasn’t a reason for me not to go. So, when I wasn’t studying I was on a massive partying bender, going to every event I could for almost a year. Bush Doofs, house parties, trance events, festivals, Blueprint parties, Deeper Than House parties, clubbing and kickon after kickon, you name it. Even though I probably fried my brain more than I should have, I had some of the most incredible, intense and enjoyable experiences of my life surrounded by friends, music and fucking good times. I managed to meet some girls while this was all going on and although relationships have never been a big fixture in my life, when they have come along they have been incredible and a great opportunity for me to learn more about myself along the way. I have also had the opportunity to run my own psytrance events, DJ and help organise and promote for trance events, which has been an awesome side gig which is not only fun but earns me some good money (there’s actually a big announcement regarding this topic coming next week).

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The Trance Family

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Psyfari 2015, where the year long bender began

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The Trance Family again

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Rabbits Eat Lettuce Bush Doof Crew!

After my year in Wollongong, I decided that it was time for me to move back to Sydney, but still continue my studies in Wollongong. This was a crazy time for me as I was still partying just as much, but also travelling 12 hours a week on the train to Wollongong and back, as well as working two jobs and studying, my schedule was completely full. Newtown is an awesome place to live and if anyone is considering living in the city, it really is the place to be, especially living on King Street. It is so vibrant and full of culture and there is always something going on, not to mention the lack of lockout laws too. Plus there is no shortage of awesome food and interesting people. I had a nice 6 months there and I got to look after the world’s most adorable kitten, but eventually life took another unexpected turn, as it tends to do it.

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A&B Acoustic – Meeting Tony

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Kickons at Bunnings carpark ft. hitech

During my time in Wollongong and Newtown I had been sporadically producing trance music with a friend Chris who I met down there and slowly progressing with it. Eventually we came up with the idea of forming a duo and committing some more time to it. It quickly became more than just a hobby and I reached a crossroads where I decided that I would have to move to Kiama and actually commit myself to it if I actually wanted to make it. It is not as crazy of a dream as you might think however. I already have the advantage of running a community of 30,000+ fans called ‘Trance Music Appreciation Society’ which I have been building since 2008 and through this I have made so many industry contacts and connections. I have been listening to trance religiously since 2007, I have been making music since I was 12, and have recently started getting experience DJing too. The way I see it is, if anyone’s going to make it in the trance scene, we are!

All of these experiences i’ve had at events over my lifetime have been so incredible, what a gift it would be to make music and help facilitate this for other people. To be the person who is providing the opportunity to experience happiness through music at an event. To share the things I have felt throughout my lifetime and reproduce them through sound and stir emotions deep within people.  This is why I have decided to commit to this.

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Psytrance Crew Kickons

And that brings us to today. I am living down in the beautiful south coast, surrounded by rolling green hills and stark cliffs, committing at least 4 hours a day to learning the art of music production. I start off with an hour of piano practice (i’m learning the song ‘Greensleeves’ at the moment), followed by a program called ‘Syntorial’ which progressively teaches all you need to know about synthesisers. Then I move on to a program called ‘TrainYourEars’ which trains you to recognise frequency changes across the audio spectrum, then finally onto tutorial videos that outlinine how to use Logic Pro 10, the program we produce in. Any spare time and time on the weekends is spent building tracks, but at this stage the most important thing is learning the fundamentals so that we can apply them most effectively.

Apart from that I have just got a job at a cocktail bar down here, I have 3 semesters to go until I finish my degree and in the meantime i’m going to make some fucking good music.

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And who could forget my oldest friends from high school

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DJing – The best job in the world

I’m so glad that i’ve been able to finally find an avenue that resonates with me that I can pour my time and creative energy into. I feel so driven and motivated to be the best I possibly can be and learn as much as possible. I used to think that the outer path was seperate from the inner path, but i’ve come to see that they are intrinsically linked and that if you find your outer path, your inner will naturally fall into place more easily.

Reflecting on this past year has reminded me just how incredible my life has been so far and i’m just overwhelmed with nostalgia and gratitude for all the amazing people i’ve met along the way, the places i’ve been to and the experiences i’ve had.

All I can say is that this life has been a true gift and if I was to die tomorrow, I would die knowing that I really have squeezed everything that I possibly could have out of this life (hopefully I don’t die tomorrow though).

So, stay tuned, hopefully this next chapter of my life turns out to be an even bigger success!

-Lorin

[Sorry if this post seems a bit compacted, trying to fit a whole year’s worth of stuff into one post is a bit of a challenge]

 

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