Personal Blog

This is my personal everyday blog for everything that isn’t on travel, spirituality or something random I found on the internet!

Failure and Success

Recognise that failure is an intrinsic part of success

A little while ago, everything in my life seemed to be going perfectly. I had found a course I really liked, I was spending time with a girl, I was paying the bills… In reality, I had simply become comfortable with mediocrity. It wasn’t that I didn’t have great things in my life, it was just that I had stopped striving to be the best person I could be. I had stopped growing as a man and become lazy.

My course in remedial massage was great and it suited me well. But I had to make the decision to put it on hold in order to pay all of the debts that I owed. I couldn’t continue to expect to slowly pay them off with a part time job. I had also lost sight of one of my biggest goals- trance music production.

I have been driving for uber for the past week but again have realised that I can’t realistically expect to drive for 50 hours a week because it’s just too tiring, so I must balance this with another source of income.

I had been hanging out with a girl who I was getting along really well with, but I got complacent and made some mistakes. I had fallen for the first girl that I had connected with when in reality I should have kept an open mind. I made the mistake of idealising her and developed ‘one-itus’. Our society sells us this idea of ‘the one’ which leads to a fear of losing them, when in reality attraction is organic and you should follow its ebs and flows, not make some perfect ideal of it in your mind. ‘One-itus’ makes us forget our personal value and divorces attraction from reality. Especially when you have nobody else to compare it to. Attraction is nice, but it has a tendency to cover up any insecurities and self-doubts you have until they eventually come to the surface. Afterwards you are left to face them on your own only they are now more prominent.


What we need to realise is that mistakes are necessary for our growth as people. It’s easy to look back and fantasise about what could have been, but that is only a fantasy, a nice dream. What it really means to be a man, is to live in such a risky way that you make the mistakes in the first place. Do exactly what you are most compelled to do at that moment and once you make the mistakes you will learn the lesson and grow.

I have learnt that I do enjoy remedial massage, but also have a responsibility to my debts first and foremost so will have to make the sacrifice and return to it at a later stage. I have learnt that you must have balance in your life. I have learnt what it means to be a man and to be independent and to learn the elements of attraction and the dynamics of a relationship. I have learnt that you should never lose sight of the things you are truly attracted to in life, in my case music production.

If I could go back, I wouldn’t change a thing. Because I know that in the future once things are going smoothly again because I am operating from a place of deeper understanding in my ideal life situation, I will see why it was all necessary.

The best thing about being at rock bottom is that there’s only one way to go.

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Wollongong, Newtown, Kiama

It has been a long time since I have updated my personal blog, so i’m going to be covering my year spent living in Wollongong, my 6 months living in Newtown and my recent move even further south to Kiama. 2015 for me was a year of significant internal and external change. But first, here are some things i’ve done since my last blog post (in Jan 2015)-

-I made about 1500 new friends (on Facebook at least)

-Became a DJ,

-Was interviewed by Armin van Buuren live on his radio show ‘A State of Trance’,

-Owned 3 different motorbikes,

-Worked at The Department of Immigration, a whiskey bar, Home Nightclub, Bondi Council and Newtown Social Club,

-Lived in Redfern, Marrickville, Wollongong, Newtown and Kiama,

-Went to some awesome festivals and events (Psyfari, Dragon Dreaming, New Psycle, Psydways, Subsonic, Atlantis, Godskitchen, Genesis White, Genesis Black, Pure Trance, ABGT150, Above & Beyond Acoustic and wayyyy too many more to mention)

As well as a whole bunch of other things I have probably forgotten to cover or will cover below.

So first things first- my year living in Wollongong. After having spent a year in Canberra, I decided it wasn’t really for me. First of all, Canberra is just so dull and lifeless and always either too hot or too cold. You are either surrounded by the grey empty streets of the city or the barren dry countryside. The residents are either massive bogans, political snobs (who go to The Australian National University because ‘it’s the best uni in the country’ (whatever that means)), or occasionally chilled country people. It’s not easy or exciting to get in and out of Canberra, with the only option being a 2.5 hour bus ride down the world’s longest and straightest road. The campus communities I lived in were not really as vibrant and as fun as I expected either. Lastly and most importantly, I didn’t really feel like a Bachelor of Arts was what I really wanted to study, and just went into it with the mindset of ‘I might as well study something’. After doing some research and moving back in with my parents in Sydney, I decided that it was time for me to actually study something I was interested in.


Another dreary day in Australia’s bustling metropolitan capital

After moving back in with my parents for a while and doing some research, I decided that I wanted to study something i’ve always had an interest in- Digital Media. I found a course at University of Wollongong that focused on film, animation and media and I enrolled and started getting ready for the next chapter of my life. The thing I liked about the course at Wollongong was that it was half TAFE (like a technical college in England) half university, so in essence half theory half practical. Straight theory had always been a little dry for me and that is a part of the reason that I didn’t like the bachelor of arts at ANU in Canberra. I also liked the idea of moving somewhere new and starting a new life, as well as being by the coast and living in another campus atmosphere.


Wollongong aka ‘The Gong’

So the year started rolling by and I moved into my campus accommodation and started studying. The south coast as a place is much more interesting than Canberra, it has some of the most beautiful scenery i’ve ever seen and to get back to Sydney all you need to do is catch a 1.5 hour train (a journey I would soon get used to). The campus atmosphere was also more interesting and I made some good friends in my stay down there. There was still a strong ‘high school mentality’ amongst the campus, which is not surprising seeing as most people were still fresh out of high school. My course was and still is quite interesting, we spend our time either filming in the studio, animating, editing and doing media studies lectures.


Friends from my uni course


Friends from my campus

From about July onwards I met a group of friends who were as into trance events and partying as I was, and I seeing as I get into most of these events for free, there really wasn’t a reason for me not to go. So, when I wasn’t studying I was on a massive partying bender, going to every event I could for almost a year. Bush Doofs, house parties, trance events, festivals, Blueprint parties, Deeper Than House parties, clubbing and kickon after kickon, you name it. Even though I probably fried my brain more than I should have, I had some of the most incredible, intense and enjoyable experiences of my life surrounded by friends, music and fucking good times. I managed to meet some girls while this was all going on and although relationships have never been a big fixture in my life, when they have come along they have been incredible and a great opportunity for me to learn more about myself along the way. I have also had the opportunity to run my own psytrance events, DJ and help organise and promote for trance events, which has been an awesome side gig which is not only fun but earns me some good money (there’s actually a big announcement regarding this topic coming next week).


The Trance Family


Psyfari 2015, where the year long bender began


The Trance Family again


Rabbits Eat Lettuce Bush Doof Crew!

After my year in Wollongong, I decided that it was time for me to move back to Sydney, but still continue my studies in Wollongong. This was a crazy time for me as I was still partying just as much, but also travelling 12 hours a week on the train to Wollongong and back, as well as working two jobs and studying, my schedule was completely full. Newtown is an awesome place to live and if anyone is considering living in the city, it really is the place to be, especially living on King Street. It is so vibrant and full of culture and there is always something going on, not to mention the lack of lockout laws too. Plus there is no shortage of awesome food and interesting people. I had a nice 6 months there and I got to look after the world’s most adorable kitten, but eventually life took another unexpected turn, as it tends to do it.


A&B Acoustic – Meeting Tony


Kickons at Bunnings carpark ft. hitech

During my time in Wollongong and Newtown I had been sporadically producing trance music with a friend Chris who I met down there and slowly progressing with it. Eventually we came up with the idea of forming a duo and committing some more time to it. It quickly became more than just a hobby and I reached a crossroads where I decided that I would have to move to Kiama and actually commit myself to it if I actually wanted to make it. It is not as crazy of a dream as you might think however. I already have the advantage of running a community of 30,000+ fans called ‘Trance Music Appreciation Society’ which I have been building since 2008 and through this I have made so many industry contacts and connections. I have been listening to trance religiously since 2007, I have been making music since I was 12, and have recently started getting experience DJing too. The way I see it is, if anyone’s going to make it in the trance scene, we are!

All of these experiences i’ve had at events over my lifetime have been so incredible, what a gift it would be to make music and help facilitate this for other people. To be the person who is providing the opportunity to experience happiness through music at an event. To share the things I have felt throughout my lifetime and reproduce them through sound and stir emotions deep within people.  This is why I have decided to commit to this.


Psytrance Crew Kickons

And that brings us to today. I am living down in the beautiful south coast, surrounded by rolling green hills and stark cliffs, committing at least 4 hours a day to learning the art of music production. I start off with an hour of piano practice (i’m learning the song ‘Greensleeves’ at the moment), followed by a program called ‘Syntorial’ which progressively teaches all you need to know about synthesisers. Then I move on to a program called ‘TrainYourEars’ which trains you to recognise frequency changes across the audio spectrum, then finally onto tutorial videos that outlinine how to use Logic Pro 10, the program we produce in. Any spare time and time on the weekends is spent building tracks, but at this stage the most important thing is learning the fundamentals so that we can apply them most effectively.

Apart from that I have just got a job at a cocktail bar down here, I have 3 semesters to go until I finish my degree and in the meantime i’m going to make some fucking good music.


And who could forget my oldest friends from high school


DJing – The best job in the world

I’m so glad that i’ve been able to finally find an avenue that resonates with me that I can pour my time and creative energy into. I feel so driven and motivated to be the best I possibly can be and learn as much as possible. I used to think that the outer path was seperate from the inner path, but i’ve come to see that they are intrinsically linked and that if you find your outer path, your inner will naturally fall into place more easily.

Reflecting on this past year has reminded me just how incredible my life has been so far and i’m just overwhelmed with nostalgia and gratitude for all the amazing people i’ve met along the way, the places i’ve been to and the experiences i’ve had.

All I can say is that this life has been a true gift and if I was to die tomorrow, I would die knowing that I really have squeezed everything that I possibly could have out of this life (hopefully I don’t die tomorrow though).

So, stay tuned, hopefully this next chapter of my life turns out to be an even bigger success!


[Sorry if this post seems a bit compacted, trying to fit a whole year’s worth of stuff into one post is a bit of a challenge]


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My Year in Canberra

Hello, hello, and welcome to the newest addition to my website, and the one that logically should have come first, my personal blog!

This first post will be about me moving to and leaving Australia’s capital city of Canberra for a year.

After 10 months of travelling (see my Travel Blog!) it was September 2013 and I had run out of money. After assuring my parents that “I wouldn’t run out of money and then ask them to buy me a plane ticket back home”, I ran out of money and they brought me a plane ticket back home. Over the course of my travels I had grown accustomed to the life of a nomad, but realised that at some point I would have to support myself. Living in the country of opportunities, I realised that supporting myself somehow wouldn’t be the issue, but rather supporting myself through a job I actually enjoyed would be. Because as I have learnt, you just can’t really escape the monetary system at all anymore, so deeply is it entrenched in every aspect of modern society. The trick is to actually enjoy living in the system as best as you can, which means taking advantage of the opportunities available to you. I am fortunate enough to have the luxury of actually choosing pretty much any avenue that I would like to pursue, and after lengthy deliberation (and mainly a lust to try something new) it was at this time in my life that I decided to start studying.


The City of Canberra

I remember a moment in my travels when I was living in Bologna, Italy and I was just walking around the city one day. In that city, as well as most others in Italy, there are a certain amount of illegal immigrants from Morocco or North Africa that have arrived to escape whatever unfortunate situation they were in, to arrive in a slightly more fortunate one. They would walk the streets selling little bracelets for whatever change you had, and other small things like lighters and pens. I got into a conversation with one of these guys once, and he told me about his situation. He asked what I wanted for the future and I told him that I was thinking of studying and he suddenly looked me in the eye and said with upmost sincerity “Yes… If you have the opportunity then you must take it!” Not to sound cliche but when he told me this I really saw a mixture of sadness and hope in him and realised the simple fact that this man would never have that same opportunity. When he told me to study he wasn’t simply a person giving life advice, he was a man who saw an opportunity for me that he never had and urged me to take it.


A nice photo of Bologna

After examining my options I saw that my high school ATAR score of 48 left me with the options of doing approximately shit all (minus going to some terrible university in the middle of the desert), so my only option (being of mature age) was to sit a 3 hour test which bypassed my HSC results called the Special Tertiary Admissions Test. This was basically a general comprehension/knowledge processing style test which I ended up scoring in the top 2% of Australia for the written English component. This opened up my options a lot more, but I was still only left with courses and universities that accepted this STAT pathway option. I looked around at things that I was interested in like digital media and film but there weren’t many options there so I decided to go for a Bachelor of Arts at the Australian National University, in which I was given an early offer. The BA was the only course ANU offered through this pathway, and I thought that a bachelor of arts would be nice and broad, allowing me to gain some knowledge about what I might be interested in and what I could specialise in. Another main motivating factor was that I got to live in a new place and live on-campus in a dormitory style environment which would allow me to meet heaps of new people and party a lot. I am not ashamed to admit that partying was, and still is, a major factor in the selection process!
So before I knew it I had packed my stuff and I was on the 3.5 hour bus ride to Canberra.


The Australian National University

Over my two semesters of university there I lived in two different residential colleges, had four jobs and met a slew of interesting people. In the first semester I studied Sociology, Film Production, Photography (see Photography!) and Film Studies. My second semester was the same except I studied a course called ‘creating knowledge’ instead of Film Studies. The first place I lived was called Fenner Hall which was a residential college about 5 minutes drive from the university. It was a nice community with some friendly and interesting people, but I found that it didn’t have enough fun things going on and many of the people were really reserved and quiet, plus getting to uni every day and making my own food was a bit of a hassle. In my second semester I decided to move to John’s college, which was basically a catered college full of north-shore private school people, which was good because food was made for you and there was a solid amount of partying, but I found some of the people to be a little shallow and close-minded.

Partying with some people from Fenner Hall

Partying with some people from Fenner Hall


Going skydiving with some friends from ANU

I first worked at QT hotel as a bartender, which was a 4.5 star hotel. To be honest I didn’t really like the job as everyone was so picky and annoying about everything just because they had money to burn and by the end of my time there I just stopped giving a shit. I eventually got fired because I walked into the kitchen and started eating a desert which a chef made. In all fairness though, it was in the area where they usually leave staff food… My next job was to be at Dendy Cinema which I quite enjoyed and there were some cool people there. At the same time I was also making some extra money at a bouncy castle installer and a wedding and events DJ. The bouncy castle job was just kind of boring, and being a DJ was not as cool as it sounded! Mainly because I had no choice over what I played, which was basically just lame 80s and 90s music such as the Greece Lightning megamix. Having been a bartender in the past, drunk people aren’t a problem for me but at weddings people seem to go out of their way to get absolutely fucked and just vomit all over your equipment.

Some people from Dendy Cinema

Some people from my job at Dendy Cinema

As far as my studies went, I really enjoyed Sociology and applying the theories I learnt to the world around me. I found a bit of truth in most theories such as the macro-sociologists examining the impact of capitalism and industrialisation in terms of alienation and disenchantment, and the micro-sociologists who examined the impact of our personal interactions. Photography was probably the one I enjoyed the most but I found a lot of my course was just a bit vague and it’s mainly just skills you can learn yourself with a camera and a lot of time. Also it was film photography so that doesn’t really apply to the real world as much as digital skills do. Film production was interesting too and something that I want to continue to study, but the teacher wasn’t very good and it was the most vague and unstructured course ever.


Some friends from John’s College

As far as Canberra goes itself, I found it a little boring. The whole layout was designed by one guy which is a good idea because its all efficient and nicely done, but the problem is there are just no people! Canberra has 360,000 people in its busier period which means when you walk down the street there is a lack of vibrance and urban density. Which is a nice change from somewhere busy like Sydney, but it does get old when you live there. The city centre is also quite small and there is just a general lack of culture and fun, and it can be somewhat isolating there. Canberra is basically made up of three types of people: Bogans (many of the locals), public servants and students (many like me, coming from elsewhere). So if you go out on student nights, you are bound to meet lots of other students who live close by which would be nice if there was actually some kind of a nightlife in Canberra, not just a few packed clubs full of weird old public servants in suits and grumpy bogans. Living on campus is good but again it all just depends on the kinds of people that you live with.

Looking like a gimp rock climbing in a bicycle helmet

Looking like a gimp rock climbing in a bicycle helmet

So over my year in Canberra I finished two semesters of university getting credits and distinctions, made a bunch of new friends, had 4 pretty different jobs and most importantly got a year worth of university points. But as you can probably guess, Canberra was not the place for me, and after finishing my first year I decided not to stay there. So what am I going to do now? I have been accepted to study a Bachelor of Digital Media at the University of Wollongong! So on February 23rd I head down to Wollongong where I will be living on campus next to the beach to start my new degree.


At my sisters graduation. Perhaps a preview of things to come?

So stay tuned!

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