Failure and Success

Recognise that failure is an intrinsic part of success

A little while ago, everything in my life seemed to be going perfectly. I had found a course I really liked, I was spending time with a girl, I was paying the bills… In reality, I had simply become comfortable with mediocrity. It wasn’t that I didn’t have great things in my life, it was just that I had stopped striving to be the best person I could be. I had stopped growing as a man and become lazy.

My course in remedial massage was great and it suited me well. But I had to make the decision to put it on hold in order to pay all of the debts that I owed. I couldn’t continue to expect to slowly pay them off with a part time job. I had also lost sight of one of my biggest goals- trance music production.

I have been driving for uber for the past week but again have realised that I can’t realistically expect to drive for 50 hours a week because it’s just too tiring, so I must balance this with another source of income.

I had been hanging out with a girl who I was getting along really well with, but I got complacent and made some mistakes. I had fallen for the first girl that I had connected with when in reality I should have kept an open mind. I made the mistake of idealising her and developed ‘one-itus’. Our society sells us this idea of ‘the one’ which leads to a fear of losing them, when in reality attraction is organic and you should follow its ebs and flows, not make some perfect ideal of it in your mind. ‘One-itus’ makes us forget our personal value and divorces attraction from reality. Especially when you have nobody else to compare it to. Attraction is nice, but it has a tendency to cover up any insecurities and self-doubts you have until they eventually come to the surface. Afterwards you are left to face them on your own only they are now more prominent.

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What we need to realise is that mistakes are necessary for our growth as people. It’s easy to look back and fantasise about what could have been, but that is only a fantasy, a nice dream. What it really means to be a man, is to live in such a risky way that you make the mistakes in the first place. Do exactly what you are most compelled to do at that moment and once you make the mistakes you will learn the lesson and grow.

I have learnt that I do enjoy remedial massage, but also have a responsibility to my debts first and foremost so will have to make the sacrifice and return to it at a later stage. I have learnt that you must have balance in your life. I have learnt what it means to be a man and to be independent and to learn the elements of attraction and the dynamics of a relationship. I have learnt that you should never lose sight of the things you are truly attracted to in life, in my case music production.

If I could go back, I wouldn’t change a thing. Because I know that in the future once things are going smoothly again because I am operating from a place of deeper understanding in my ideal life situation, I will see why it was all necessary.

The best thing about being at rock bottom is that there’s only one way to go.

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